Posts Tagged ‘good’

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George Bush is Shoe Ducking Secret Ninja

December 15, 2008

Who’d have thought it!

Ninja Bush, Ninja Bush, Does Whatever A Ninja Bush Does

Ninja Bush, Ninja Bush, Does Whatever A Ninja Bush Does

8 years of the world thinking the most influential and powerful man in the entire world is a stupid good-for-nothing jackass and with just a month to go he reveals himself to be a secret ninja.

The event at which George Bush was forced to finally reveal his ninja skills was unplanned. A journalist at a press conference in Baghdad today hurled his shoes as Bush, proclaiming in Arabic “This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.” Which is pretty cool actually, I like him, someone give him a chat show.

Bush’s dodge to the first shoe revealed his undoubted talent for ninja-ism. Seriously, look at that strafe and duck – not bad for a man who never actually made it to Vietnam despite being signed up.

After his successful dodging of both items of footwear, the cameras were cut and Bush kicked the guys arse before he’d even realised it had happened.

Bush has declared once he has finished his White House paperwork, he will go and sort out the Somalian pirates currently holding many ships hostage in Africa, including a tanker with $100million of oil.

“Ninjas and pirates have a long and bitter history” Bush said. “I’m going to totally fuck them up. Don’t think I’m not serious. I think I’ve proved in the last 8 years I really will do anything for oil”

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Entry #1

November 26, 2008

First Entry. How queer. Oh look I’m having a go at the gays only four words in, what a phenomenal achievement. I obviously mean queer as in bizarre or strange – just like my arse, homosexuals do not come into it.

With the use of the word arse in my first paragraph, you may be enlightened to the fact that I am English. Congratulations. No I don’t own a horse and I actually have a severe disliking for tea. So fuck your stereotyping.

Did you see how I presumed you weren’t English there? Obviously stereotyping in itself, making me a big fat fucking hypocrite only eight lines in – another impressive feat. Dammit. Anyway, I believe I am justified in my stereotype because there’s something about blogs which makes the English people incredibly disenchanted with them and the entire process. I mean, plenty of people have a flair for writing, communicating and humour in England, but I think the stumbling block we have encountered is that no-one really gives a shit about anything.

It’s true. Global recession. Our reaction? About fucking time. I mean, no recession in the UK for sixty quarters of economic growth? Just not on, even Guns N Roses tour more often than that.
Such mild retardedness aside, I have very little to say in this first entry. This is a reoccurring theme you may encounter – I very rarely do have anything to say, but regardless I shall try and keep this as updated as possible with mindless and irreverent twiddle.

Peace and Love

CS

(P.S. For a brief background, see About)