George Bush is Shoe Ducking Secret Ninja

December 15, 2008

Who’d have thought it!

Ninja Bush, Ninja Bush, Does Whatever A Ninja Bush Does

Ninja Bush, Ninja Bush, Does Whatever A Ninja Bush Does

8 years of the world thinking the most influential and powerful man in the entire world is a stupid good-for-nothing jackass and with just a month to go he reveals himself to be a secret ninja.

The event at which George Bush was forced to finally reveal his ninja skills was unplanned. A journalist at a press conference in Baghdad today hurled his shoes as Bush, proclaiming in Arabic “This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.” Which is pretty cool actually, I like him, someone give him a chat show.

Bush’s dodge to the first shoe revealed his undoubted talent for ninja-ism. Seriously, look at that strafe and duck – not bad for a man who never actually made it to Vietnam despite being signed up.

After his successful dodging of both items of footwear, the cameras were cut and Bush kicked the guys arse before he’d even realised it had happened.

Bush has declared once he has finished his White House paperwork, he will go and sort out the Somalian pirates currently holding many ships hostage in Africa, including a tanker with $100million of oil.

“Ninjas and pirates have a long and bitter history” Bush said. “I’m going to totally fuck them up. Don’t think I’m not serious. I think I’ve proved in the last 8 years I really will do anything for oil”


  1. Yes, we here in the USA really appreciate the insane antics of a crummy country which we have spent billions of dollars and countless lives to bring out of the dark ages. Sunnis and shiites have been killing each other for generations. Keep it up! I can’t wait to see you wipe each other out once we leave…all in the name of Mohammed…joke is on you. Once Iran gets the A-bomb, you’ll be their first target. Good Riddance.

  2. And now we all see where America’s bad rep comes from.
    You’re full of shi’ite, if you’ll pardon the pun

  3. Nice to see someone else picking up on the sweet ninja skillz on display in Baghdad. Ninjitsu skill is definitely a huge factor in who I vote for.

    Mr. Obama has some big shoes to fill, and I’m not so sure he’s up to the task. We can only hope Bush takes out those Somali pirates, and hopefully a few more socialists before he leaves office!

  4. I must respectfully disagree. As a student in the secret ninja society, Bush failed miserably. We are supposed to look like clumsy oafs in public, so as not to give away our skills. A former-president grand master was Gerald Ford, for instance. No one ever suspected that he was a 28-dan ninjutsu master.

  5. I think his “Eye of the Tiger” gave him away. He dodged both shoes while maintaining eye contact with the perpetrator! Up until now he was an invisible ninja performing his “clumsy oaf” skills and acting like a big dummy all the time to perfectio. No one would ever have known….

  6. Lol @ ‘Aoi’ claiming he’s part of “secret ninja society”… ain’t so secret now is it? I just wish someone would have mixed the tape of bush dodging the shoes with the Eye of the Tiger track from Rocky… it’s very fitting; and in the end instead of yelling “Adrian!” he can yell “CHENEY!!!!” <- rofl

  7. […] new attitude. It’d be hard for Bush to stand between an open crowd like that (neither in a small crowd). One could say it’s courageous, the highest target for those who don’t like America […]

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